wanna go halves on a baby?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
