marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she looked like the before picture.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
