and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
