new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
