I wannas sexs uuuuu
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
