Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
