All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
