there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
