yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize