I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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