Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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