He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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