Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
