Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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