I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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