Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
