remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
