I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
