look no pants
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize