dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
