Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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