you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
