If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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