Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
