I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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