so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
