I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
