i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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