She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize