then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
