I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
