remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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