you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
