its not stalking. its research.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
