cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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