When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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