Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
