If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize