And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
