insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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