I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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