At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
