sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
