Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
