I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i came on her dog
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
