God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
