since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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