Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
