I want to make a zoo with you.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
