yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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