Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
