You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
