Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
A+ Viking dick
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
