Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
