Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
