found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
