Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
