yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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