is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
