Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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