we have pet lesbian snakes
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
