i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
