im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
