Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
