who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
