So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
