If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Come see our sink grown plant.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
