I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
