I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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